


See These Bones

by apocofive



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death Fix, Gen, No Incest, POV Alternating, Season/Series 01, Sibling Bonding, a bit of blood/violence/etc but nothing too graphic or worse than the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27744100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocofive/pseuds/apocofive
Summary: Vanya felt a rush of affection as she looked at the two of them, tinged with the pain of seeing how much they had changed. Ben looked older, hunched over and fragile, and Five’s face twitched nervously in the silence, like he was trying to solve an unsolvable problem. She had so many things she wanted to ask them, but she couldn’t seem to find the words.ORIndulgent 567 Season 1 AU where Ben left the academy because of a bad injury at 17 and the siblings are the first on the scene after Vanya slashes Allison's throat.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 38
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This would be nothing without my wonderful betas [GentleTouchGinger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GentleTouchGinger) and [chahakyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chahakyn/pseuds/chahakyn)!! i seriously love you guys <3
> 
> Title from [a song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdyYBdGsmzk) by Nada Surf

It was Vanya who went into the room first, called by the memories of late-night secret sleepovers, some of the only happy times in her childhood. Almost 20 years later, the doorknob felt like it had shrunk in her hand. Taking a nervous breath, she pushed it open. The hinges creaked like the door hadn’t been opened in years (and it hadn’t). Everything looked startlingly the same: Ben’s carefully organized bookshelves, clothes hung with painstaking care in the closet, the paintings of looming mountains and oceans that Vanya remembered getting lost in. Everything was neat bar the notebooks still stuffed messily under his bedside table, that he would always be scribbling in. The room was a time capsule from a different life, one that she was glad to be away from.

She walked in carefully and holding her breath, scared to alter anything in this precious space. Stopping in the middle of the room, the memories came flooding back. She could see 13-year-old Ben on his bed laughing hysterically, his mouth full of some sort of snack (usually crunchy popcorn) that she herself had snuck from the kitchen. Five was sprawled out on the floor, leaning forward eagerly and eyes shining as he pressed on with his story, grinning the harder Ben laughed.

She barely noticed the sound of a blink behind her. “Huh, looks a bit different since I was last here.” She turned around to see Five, looking every bit as cocky and indifferent as she’d remembered him.

“Trust me, it isn’t any different from when Ben…” She trailed off. Five raised his eyebrows and sauntered past her to the window, looking outside as if checking for some danger. “Not quite sure why Dad left it like this…he wasn’t normally one to let space go unused,” she added, looking around from her vantage point, feet locked to the floor and hands shoved in her pockets.

“Seems too sentimental of him, doesn’t it?” Five said, running his finger along the bookshelf, brushing off the thick layer of dust.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?”

Vanya and Five turned around sheepishly to see Ben standing in the doorway.

“Oh, you know, just checking out the old stomping grounds,” Five said, giving his brother an unnatural smile, the one thing that looked quite different from when he was a kid. It was unsettling, the same face that Vanya remembered so well but with a protective mask of bitterness.

“Dad locked it up when he told us you died,” Vanya said to Ben.

“He really told you that I died?” Ben rolled his eyes and walked into the room, sitting on his bed tentatively. He moved like he thought the world would swallow him up if he made any sudden movements. Vanya wondered if his carefulness had anything to do with the injury he sustained on his last mission.

“At first.” Vanya went over to him and leaned against the bed’s headboard. “He told us the truth eventually when we all started to leave.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully and surveyed his old room. “I didn’t miss this place to be honest,” he said, laughing nervously.

“You’re not alone. We all were so excited to get out of here,” Vanya said. Her heart clenched as she remembered moving out…Diego chattering excitedly about the police academy as he helped her pack. That was the last time they spoke on friendly terms.

“What about you Five? Did you miss this place?” Ben asked. Five stopped his intense survey of the room and walked over to them.

“Surprisingly, there are things that can make you miss a hell like this,” he said, his knowing smile this time containing a lilt of melancholy.

Vanya felt a rush of affection as she looked at the two of them, tinged with the pain of seeing how much they had changed. Ben looked older, hunched over and fragile, and Five’s face twitched nervously in the silence, like he was trying to solve an unsolvable problem. The conversation petered out into an awkward silence, as they stayed engrossed in the oddity of Ben’s unchanged room.

Vanya had so many things she wanted to ask them, but she couldn’t seem to find the words. Not that she wasn’t used to that feeling; she was better at expressing herself through writing. But that was never the case with Ben and Five, her best friends and sole confidants, the people she had missed more than anything in the world.

“Um, guys?” She finally forced out the words and her brothers looked at her expectantly. She took a deep breath, waiting for the questions and stories and fears to come tumbling out fully formed but nothing came out. She breathed out a disappointed sigh. “We should probably join the others downstairs. Luther wanted to talk to us about something.”

* * *

After the funeral, Ben went to his hotel room and stayed the night there. Most everyone else had left the Academy and he couldn’t stand the idea of spending any more time in that old dusty place that had continued to haunt him. He had booked his hotel room for a week, hoping to at least spend some quality time with Vanya before going back upstate, but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen. She had folded in on herself even more than when they were kids. Five had become more distant and stressed for reasons he refused to share. Ben tried to ask Klaus if he wanted to go to dinner, but Klaus brushed him off. Diego ignored him and Luther wouldn’t leave the house. By the time Allison offered, Ben was socially exhausted enough that he politely declined to have a night alone. Maybe he’d take her up for breakfast tomorrow.

It was dark when he pulled into the Days In parking lot. He pressed his forehead against the steering wheel as his head spun from the day’s events. It was all quite overwhelming, being back around his siblings again. Ever since he had left after his injury, he missed them more than he cared to admit, even the suffocating pressure he felt whenever he was around Luther or Diego’s glares almost as sharp as his knives. Seeing them all today was a mix of joy, confusion, and sadness. His therapist had warned him about this, but that knowledge didn’t prepare him to have all the emotions hit him like this. He forced himself out of the car and into the too-bright hotel lobby, wincing at the cheery hello from the receptionist before rushing down the hallway to his room. The second his head hit the white scratchy pillow, he fell asleep.

He woke up with the eerie feeling he was being watched. He looked at the time, groaning: 7:45AM. He felt around his nightstand for his phone when he heard:

“It's on the table by the coffee.”

Ben nearly jumped out of his skin. He instinctively covered his stomach and looked up to see a figure sitting in the chair, silhouetted by the sun that shone through the blinds. “What the _fuck_ Five?” he yelped.

Five shrugged. “I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Well now I am definitely awake.” His stomach churned uncomfortably, and he felt like he was going to puke. “Please, please don’t scare me like that. It might not turn out well for either of us one day.”

Five smirked looking down at Ben’s stomach but said nothing, just sat silently in the chair.

Ben stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to indicate why the hell he had decided to break into his hotel room at this ungodly hour, but Five stayed quiet.

“So…are you going to tell me why you’re here or just stay sullenly silent like all of yesterday?” Ben asked.

Five leaned back in the chair and sighed. “Vanya didn’t listen.”

“You went to her before _me_?” Ben said in a mock offense, placing a hand on his chest. Five raised his eyebrows and Ben sighed, waving his hand dismissively. “I would have done the same thing. Did you also break into her apartment?”

“It's not breaking in if it's a family,” Five scoffed.

Ben spluttered, “Uh yeah! It still is!!” Five shrugged and took a sip of his Griddy’s coffee, which Ben only just noticed was in his hand. “Okay I’ll bite. What did you say to her?” Ben asked.

“I told her about the future.”

Ben sat up, suddenly interested. “Right, yesterday you said it was shit.”

“You know what I found when I went there? Nothing.”

Ben looked at him curiously. “Nothing?”

“Everything had been destroyed. As far as I knew, I was the last human being on earth.” His expression became troubled and his eyes turned glassy, as if mentally back in the destruction.

“Holy shit.” Ben tried to wrap his head around what it might have been like. Poor Five. Poor little cocky Five. “How did you survive there? If there was nothing.”

“I survived on scraps. Canned food, cockroaches, anything I could find.” He snorted softly. “You know that rumor that Twinkies have an endless shelf life? It’s total bullshit. You do whatever it takes to survive, or you die. So, we adapted.”

“We?”

Five waved his hand. “Point is, I need you to believe me.” His eyes bored into Ben’s and the intensity of his stare led Ben to believe this was where Vanya stopped listening.

Ben shrugged helplessly and said, “I-I do. I mean, I have no reason not to. You appearing out of thin air and telling me doomsday’s next week adds up. It makes more sense than most of the shit you tried to convince me as a kid...,” Five visibly relaxed and smiled wistfully, as if remembering the time he tried to tell Ben that Dad was an alien. “Also, Dad always said time travel did weird things,” he said gesturing to Five’s body.

Five rolled his eyes. “Vanya said it would mess with my mind. She’s just too young and naïve-“

“Look, I don’t blame her,” Ben interrupted him. “She hasn’t had a lot of experience with the impossible, so let her be.”

Five cocked his head curiously before smiling wryly. “Always protecting Vanya, huh?” He finished his coffee and threw the cup on the floor, sighing. “You all are a bit naïve, but I guess I was too, in my younger years.”

Ben stared at the cup tossed so nonchalantly on the floor. He looked back at Five, who gave him an innocent look back. _Tiny asshole_. “So, do you need my height? Does your plan for saving the world involve a piggyback ride?” he asked, trying not to crack a smile.

If Five’s looks could kill, Ben would actually be dead this time. “I will go to Klaus if you suggest that again, Benjamin. Mark my words.”

Ben was too curious to keep poking fun. “How much time do we have? What do we need to do?” It was the first time he had felt excited in years and he hated it. It reminded him of being a kid before a mission. Did he never learn?

“Eight days. But I have no idea how to stop it.” His eyes stayed fixed on Ben.

“Eight days…Eight days… holy… _fuck_...” Ben ran his hands through his hair instinctively and smoothed it back down. “And you really have no leads?”

“Well, I did find one thing…an eyeball…”


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of the bow slicing across Allison’s throat was louder than any sound Vanya had heard before in her life. The anger that was coursing through her veins just moments ago subsided the second her sister grabbed at the gushing wound.

“Allison! ALLISON!” Vanya screamed as she ran to her sister’s side. “No, no no no no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m _sorry_.” But the blood seeped out faster and faster as the seconds ticked loudly from the cuckoo clock on the mantel. As Allison struggled to stay conscious, the betrayal in her eyes began to fade away. 

The door slammed open. “Vanya!” Five’s voice broke through her hysteria. “Vanya, what happened?” 

“I – I–” Vanya couldn’t get a word out through her sobs. The old faded carpet under Allison was quickly staining scarlet red.

“Allison?” Luther barged in next. “ALLISON!” He ran toward her, pushing Five and Vanya to the side. Klaus and Ben followed behind him. 

“What happened?” Klaus asked, looking worried at Vanya all covered in blood. 

Luther turned to Vanya, his eyes shining with tears, and growled, “Where is he? Where is Harold?” Vanya tried to answer him but all that came out were sobs. 

“Luther, take Allison to Mom. Now,” Five said.

“No, I need to find who did this, and I need to _kill_ them,” Luther spat as he stood up, towering over a cowering Vanya and little Five. Five matched his gaze. 

“Luther, Allison requires medical attention. Go with Klaus. Find wherever Diego is. Ben, Vanya and I will take care of Peabody.”

“But-“

“GO! The time to save Allison’s life is running out, you idiot!” Five yelled and finally Luther snapped into action, lifting Allison up gingerly and running back to the car. 

“Hey Klaus–” Five began before Klaus shut him up with a wave of his hand.

“Deeefinitely driving, don’t worry Fivey.” He shut the door with a slam.

Vanya watched the scene with a creeping sense of dread. She was pretty sure she’d forgotten how to breathe until she felt a hand on her shoulder. Ben! Still not used to seeing him, just looking at his concerned expression was enough to comfort her and take her mind away from the situation.

Still keeping eye contact with her, Ben said, “Five um…may I ask why you sent Luther away when we are waiting in the cabin of the guy who murdered his father and hates the Umbrella Academy?” 

Five walked toward the windows and checked outside. “He’ll be no match for us.”

Ben laughed nervously. “I hope you mean for _you_. The last time the Horror was out I almost killed everyone and myself.”

Five whipped around to look at him. “So that’s what you haven’t been telling me? I thought you just hadn’t found a use for it lately.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Whatever, I don’t have time to think about this. Just take Vanya away, I can deal with Peabody,” he said and began pacing back and forth, muttering to himself

The comforting presence of her two brothers and the knowledge that Allison might be okay steadied Vanya’s breathing. Her throat didn’t feel as tight anymore and it seemed like a good time to tell them about her newfound powers. “I did it,” she choked out before the tears came again. 

They turned to look at her, Ben eyes wide looking quite a bit more surprised than Five.

Vanya breathed in shakily and tried to steady her voice. “I hurt Allison…with my powers..” If she had been in a better mood, she might have laughed at the shocked faces in front of her.

“Come again?” Five said, eyes wide. Ben was in stunned silence.

“I don’t really understand it either, but Leonard’s been helping me–“

Five interrupted. “Leonard Peabody. Did Allison show you the file–“ 

“Oh god, I can’t deal with that right now.” Vanya’s heart was in her throat.

Five groaned. “Damnit Vanya, did you listen to Allison at all? This man’s going to cause–“

“Five!” Ben interjected. He grabbed Vanya’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “Vanya, what Five is trying to say but can’t without being an asshole–” he glared at Five, “–is that we want to catch you up on everything we know now. Did Allison get to show you the police report with the picture of Leonard that explains what he did?”

Vanya exhaled the breath she’d been holding and said, voice trembling, “She said it was in the car.” Five blinked away. 

Ben settled down in front of her, careful to avoid the pool of blood. “I know it’s hard to believe, and I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but you need to trust us. Five thinks that Leonard will cause the apocalypse.”

Her face contorted. “But how? I just– he wouldn’t! There’s no way. I just don’t understand.”

Five blinked immediately in front of them and pushed the file into her face.

“Give me just one fucking minute, Five,” she said, pushing it away. 

Five seethed. “Vanya, we don’t have–“ But Ben shut him up with a glare. After taking a deep breath, she took the file from Five’s hand and opened it up. There he was, Leonard, looking as he always was except this time in a mugshot with a pronounced sinister look. Under the picture, it read ‘Harold Jenkins’. The report beneath affirmed everything Allison had said. Vanya’s heart sank. If the last 30 minutes had gone differently, she would be having a breakdown in Allison’s car and not on a blood-stained carpet, in the house of her murderer boyfriend and with her two brothers, who just days before she thought she would never see again. 

“It’s…it’s a lot to process,” she said looking up at Ben, who nodded sympathetically. As she closed the folder, Leonard’s smile flashed through her brain and she shuddered. “Do you think he actually loves me?” she said quietly to nobody in particular. 

“I would assume not.” Five said. His lips were set in a straight line and his impatience was palpable, which only made Vanya annoyed. Before she could come up with a bitter retort, Ben spoke.

“Vanya. You said he helped you with your powers. How did he know you had them?” 

She shrugged. “I think he just noticed. After our fight the other day, I got so angry that I somehow bent all the streetlamps. And then, yesterday we went to this diner, and on our way out some men started beating him up, and I... I-” The scene that came back to her was almost too much to bear. The sound of their boots against Leonard's body, his grunts of pains, their drunken laughter, and the truck’s rumbling engine swirled together in her mind and she couldn’t finish.

“What happened to them?” Ben asked gently. 

She looked at him. “I made them well…explode away from me and- and two of them crashed into the wall and died.” Her stomach churned. Death was not an easy load on her conscience yet. How did her siblings bear it?

Five snorted. Vanya looked over to him and noticed he was smirking. “If it wasn’t Peabody they were beating up, I’d say good job.”

Vanya turned to face him. “Why are you so obsessed with him, Five? Why do you think he’s going to cause the apocalypse?”

Five sighed. “The commission assigned Hazel and Cha-Cha to save Harold Jenkins, and their goal is to _keep_ the apocalypse happening to preserve the timeline. The logical way to _prevent_ the apocalypse from occurring is to do the opposite of that.” 

Vanya’s stomach churned as she tried to think of the ways Leonard would cause the type of devastation Five had described to her earlier. Maybe it wasn’t real like she had thought earlier. Maybe it was all a fantasy his mind made up. Time travel does weird things to your brain, right?

“The man lied to you and killed his father as a child. Face it, Vanya. He’s an asshole undoubtedly.” Five folded his arms over his chest.

Vanya stood up. “I know he’s not who I thought he was… but I know he’s not the type to start the apocalypse. Killing your father doesn’t mean you’re going to destroy the whole world!” She was trying to keep her voice level, but all the while wondered why she was still defending Leonard. 

Five rolled his eyes. “It’s not that simple, okay? Maybe it was an accident! Maybe he somehow sets off a bomb that causes the-” Five stopped mid-sentence and looked at her, as if seeing her in an entirely new light.

“Five. What?” she said, shooting him a confused look as his face twisted into a horrified expression.

“Um, Vanya? You’re going to have to see this.” They turned to see Ben holding a red book with letters “RH” written in gold on the top of it that he’d picked up as Five and Vanya argued.

Five blinked to grab the book from Ben. “That’s one of Dad’s notebooks, where did you find that?” 

“In this bag here, by the door,” he said, pointing to a black computer bag resting innocently against the shoe rack.

Vanya breath hitched. “That’s Leonard’s bag.” She walked over to Five, and he silently handed her the book. It felt heavy and cold and its implication made her nauseous. It opened neatly to a page titled: “Number Seven”, like it had been opened a thousand times. Inside was dad’s familiar cursive handwriting.

“‘She’s uncontrollable and dangerous. It is for the greater good that her powers should remain a secret,’” Five read over her shoulder. “Dad always had a way of drawing the best conclusions, didn’t he?” 

Vanya gulped. “He knew. Leonard knew the whole time. He lied to me.” She put her hand on her forehead. “Oh my god, I should have realized it.” Ben put his hand comfortingly on her shoulder.

There was something about this discovery that hurt more than finding out Leonard had killed his father as a kid and lied about his name. Because if she was being honest with herself, she could still empathize with Leonard. It was just the nature of being a Hargreeves that made you want to change your name and kill your father. For once in her adult life, she felt like she was understood by someone who genuinely cared about her. Someone who didn’t want to learn more about her family. No autograph requests for Allison or policemen showing up at her door asking about Klaus or Diego. Leonard was a person who thought she was interesting and loveable in her own right. Or so she had thought. Allison was in the right the whole time. Allison...dear Allison whose blood was still on her hands and shirt and face and would probably never wash off. She wondered if Leonard felt the same way about his father’s blood or if that had ever even occurred to him. No, he was not the same as her anymore. He had lied to her and used her for his own means just like what her own father did to her during her whole childhood. 

In the distance, she heard a car rolling up the driveway. “I think you two should leave, Leonard will be here soon,” she said, closing the book with a slam. The nervousness in the pit of her stomach was quickly turning into rage.

“Vanya, what about Peabody? Are you going to kill him?” Five sounded a bit too excited about the prospect.

She shook her head, although the thought was more appetizing to her than she would have liked. “Not if I can help it. Go! Now! Just in case it turns ugly. I don’t trust myself not to hurt you.” Her voice wavered a bit.

Five didn’t move. “Vanya, I’ve dealt with things far more dangerous than you. You won’t hurt me.”

“I want talk to him alone,” Vanya said, jaw clenched and eyes boring into Five’s. “It’s easier that way because he won’t hurt me, but he might hurt you.”

After staring her down, Five finally nodded reluctantly. For the first time in his life, he seemed to realize it was no good to argue. Ben gave her an uneasy smile. “We’ll be right outside okay? If you need us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is how I wish this scene would have gone in the show...anyway thanks for reading so far :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd post this one a bit early because its short ("early" I say as if i have a set schedule of publishing these chapters lol) but anyway thanks everyone for the kudos and those who commented so far <3

“We shouldn’t leave her alone.” Five said, as they stepped out the door and walked around the outside of the house.

Ben shrugged. “This is her fight, she deserves it. Besides, we’re not really leaving her alone since we can be right here,” he said and crouched down by a window, inviting Five to join him. The window looked into the room Vanya was standing in and they couldn’t be seen from the front door.

Five wrung his hands nervously. “We have to get rid of Peabody somehow, no matter what Vanya does. I still think he could cause the apocalypse.” 

Ben gave him a confused look. “Wait, I thought we knew for sure-“ Five shushed him as a car careened into the driveway. Ben and Five peaked around the corner of the house to see a figure get out of the car. It paused for a moment, noticing the extra car and then dashed up the steps and through the door. Five and Ben looked quickly through the window and confirmed that it was indeed Harold Jenkins. He smiled when he saw Vanya, but it quickly disappeared presumably when he noticed the red book in her hands.

“Five, what do you mean? Is Harold not the cause of the apocalypse after all?” Ben asked, keeping his eyes on the scene inside. 

“Timelines are odd, delicate things, easily changed by the most miniscule detail.” Five said. “Harold isn’t innocent, but there’s nothing particularly powerful about him either. When I was talking to Vanya I realized he could use something else to start the apocalypse, like a bomb or…“ Five let his sentence drift.

“Vanya. Vanya’s the bomb.” Ben hadn’t quite wrapped his head around their Vanya being in any way dangerous, let alone having powers. But that she might cause the apocalypse like Five seemed to be suggesting was something else to Ben altogether. Could she somehow explode? Like she had against Allison but this time somehow...end the world as they knew it? He shuddered.

“It’s funny to think we used to talk about protecting her as kids and now… we might have to protect ourselves from her.” Ben said quietly. Then another thought came into his head that scared him even more. “Or we might have to protect her from herself…and I’m not sure we’ll be able to do that.”

Five, still looking in the window, asked, “Why not?”

“Because of what happened to me.”

It took Five a moment to hear what Ben had said and when he did, he turned his head slowly to look at Ben. His eyes were wide and had gained a soft quality to them that Ben hadn’t seen since they were 13. “You mentioned something about that earlier. I never knew what happened that day…Vanya’s book only covered so much.”

Ben sighed. “She knew the least of it. I always felt so bad for leaving her.”

Five laughed uneasily. “Tell me about it.” He looked down at the ground and then back up at Ben. “So, what actually happened? Why haven’t you used your powers since?” It was Five’s ‘attempting to be gentle voice’. Apparently he had picked up on Ben’s sensitivity about the issue.

“Now is not the time, Five,” Ben said, turning away to peak in the window. He couldn’t see Vanya anymore but only heard her shouting and saw Harold’s face, which had lost any trace of warmth. Feeling Five’s silence at his side, he added, “And anyway, I don’t like to talk about it. Like I said before, I hurt people I didn’t want to hurt, and I almost killed myself in the process.” The idea of saying anything more about it made him feel sick to his stomach. It had been a long time since he talked about it, probably since the only time Reginald came to visit him when he told him never to come back. _Fucker_. 

“And you just haven’t used your powers since then? You’ve never even wanted to?” Ben looked back at Five’s confused face.

He sighed. “My powers aren’t like yours Five. They aren’t cool time traveling and space hopping, there are literal monsters inside of me, okay?”

“Are you telling me summoning a portal to another dimension isn’t ‘cool’?” Five said, doing aggressive air quotes.

Ben rolled his eyes. Of course, his brother wouldn’t understand. “I just don’t want the same thing to happen to Vanya, well, more than it already has.” Allison’s pained face came to mind. 

Five nodded. “Her losing control is a risk, since even under normal circumstances she barely knows how to use her powers.” As if on cue, the wind began to pick up and the tree branches waved threateningly above their heads. Old leaves and acorns dropped, making loud noises on the roof of the cabin. They both looked back inside to see and struggling Harold in a Vanya vortex.

“Holy shit.” They said in unison

Five scrambled to get up. “I thought she said she wasn’t going to kill him?”

“Plans change,” Ben said and stood up warily, as the furniture and various debris blocked Harold from their vision. “Should we stop her?”

“Not before she kills Peabody!” Five said, trembling with anticipation and a desperate gleam in his eyes. 

Ben was uneasy. “But …can she stop this once she gets started? What even are her powers?”

Five’s face twisted in worry. “We need to read Dad’s book…hopefully Vanya didn’t destroy that too.”

In silent agreement, they ran back around the house to the front entrance for a better look. The door was wide open, threatening to fall off its hinges. Ben and Five struggled to get through the entrance. Even though the epicenter of the destruction was around Harold Jenkins, who at this point appeared to be barely alive given the number of debris and cutlery stuck into him, Vanya’s energy seemed to flow around the whole house. They were waves of an invisible force. Everything flowed through her, attracted to the force that was causing it. She was her own tornado. Perhaps if they were farther away, Ben could appreciate the power of his sister but being this close to it was terrifying.

With a final plea from Harold, Vanya slammed him against the table in the other room and he was put out of his misery. Ben held his breath, but when the destruction didn’t stop, he looked at Five in horror. _What do we do now?_ Five looked determined and clenched his fists, ready to jump into fray. The Horror writhed in Ben’s stomach and he gulped, unsure how much longer he could hold them off. He had to figure out a way to stop Vanya soon.

“Vanya!” Ben called, ignoring the kick in the shin from his brother. He didn’t know where the burst of courage came from and as she started to turn around, he began to regret it as the debris started to cut his face. She looked different; all color had faded out of her skin and her eyes glowed like moons. Upon seeing them, she smiled an unnatural smile. Ben’s face started stinging and when he tried to cover his face, something sliced his arm.

“Vanya, stop!” Five shouted, his voice cracking as a splinter cut his cheek.

Vanya’s face contorted and suddenly everything quieted. Her eyes lost their glow and then rolled back into her head before she collapsed onto the floor. 


	4. Chapter 4

When she came to, Vanya’s head was in someone’s lap. The sound of the highway roared in her ears making her head throb. She shifted slightly in an effort to get up.

“Hi Vanya, how do you feel?” She groggily looked up at the voice and saw Ben’s blurry smile.

“Like someone stuffed my head full of cotton.” She said with a groan. She sat up and leaned against the seat, taking in her surroundings. Outside was dark, with only the occasional lamp to light up the tree lined road. In the driver’s seat sat Five, his head barely meeting the steering wheel. It freaked her out for a second before she remembered her brother’s actual age.

“How’d you learn to drive?” she croaked.

“Commission work.” He glanced at her from the rearview mirror and that’s when she noticed the red marks on his face. She looked at Ben who also had cuts on his face and through his clothes. It confused her until the memories of anger and broken furniture started to come back to her.

“Oh no…did I hurt you guys?” Leonard’s voice echoed in her head: _Your family won’t forgive you. I’m the only one you can trust. Ordinary Ordinary ORDINARY!_

“You should have seen the other guy,” Five said with a snort. 

Ben squeezed her arm. “Nothing a band-aid won’t fix. How much do you remember?”

Vanya furrowed her brow. “Just feeling really angry, and wanting him to die a horrible death.” She paused. “I don’t remember actually killing him. I guess I did?” They nodded in confirmation. “Funny… I don’t feel as sad as I should.” 

“He deserved it,” Five said. Ben’s lips pursed in silence.

“Wish I had listened to Allison…” she said quietly. She turned back to her two brothers, feeling a pang of shame seeing their scratched-up faces and thinking about her sister. “Where are we going?”

“Back to the Academy.” Five said. “We have nowhere else to go.”

Vanya was silent for a moment. She wanted nothing more than to see Allison again, but the sound of Allison’s throat ripping echoed in her head. “I don’t want to go back to the Academy.”

“Why not?”

Her throat tightened. “I’m scared I’m going to hurt someone else.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “You know, you guys should probably leave me be until I figure out my powers for myself.” Five shouting _Vanya stop_ came back in her mind and she shuddered. 

Five vehemently shook his head. “It isn’t a good idea to leave you alone precisely _because_ you don’t have control over them. You’ll be safest at the Academy, with all of us.”

“We can help you figure your powers out. We’ve all been there.” Ben said.

“Ben, saying that in past tense implies you are comfortable with your powers, am I missing something?” Five said, smirking at him through the rearview mirror to which he got a cold glare in return.

Vanya breathed out shakily. “Okay. That’s probably a good idea.” She rubbed her hands together nervously. “Just give me a night before I try again, I’ve had quite enough for one day.”

Ben gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. “I guess all we have is time now that we avoided the apocalypse, right Five?” 

Five looked warily at Vanya. “I suppose we do.”

* * *

They ended up deciding to stay at Vanya’s apartment, at least for the night. She was still exhausted and wanted to be in the comfort of her own home. Five reluctantly agreed after much pointed eye looking from Ben. He knew Ben would rather spend as little time in their childhood home as possible, but Five liked when all his siblings were together. It was easier to keep an eye on them. After so many years of living without them this sudden protectiveness surprised him.

When they arrived at her door, he told them there was some stuff he needed to get at the Academy but that he would bring food for them on his way back. “Like old times.” He said, thinking fondly on the many late-night runs to Griddy’s he made to bring them back their favorite pastries (Jelly doughnut for the Horror, doughnut holes for Ben and apple crullers for Vanya). Five glanced back at Ben and Vanya, expecting to receive their acknowledgement. but instead, they were giggling amongst themselves, Vanya leaning heavily against Ben as she laughed. He frowned, uncertain whether to ask what they were laughing about or wait until they were done. He didn’t like the way his stomach twisted in jealousy, wishing they were laughing at something he said. _You’re not a child anymore._ He shook the feeling off and started walking away until he heard Vanya’s voice calling to him.

“Can you check on Allison for me?”

He looked back at her and nodded, pausing for a moment to look at them. He still had to remind himself that his siblings were alive and safe, standing right in front of him and not a figment of his imagination. He wished he could enjoy this moment more but realized with a sinking feeling that he needed to figure out how to keep them that way. The apocalypse - how was he going to stop it? It was becoming increasingly likely that Vanya, as odd as it seemed, was the one who ended the world. And the fact that this terrified him frustrated him to no end. _You’re afraid of losing them again_. Delores’ voice from a past conversation echoed in his head.

“You okay, Five?” Ben asked, breaking him from his thoughts.

He nodded stiffly and blinked to the Academy. There was no time to waste.

He landed in his room, which fortunately had no other siblings snooping around. Delores was where he’d left her, looking pensive as always.

“I have some bad news, Delores. I think it's Vanya who causes the apocalypse,” he whispered.

_It took you that long to figure it out?_ Her tone was slightly amused, rather than insulting.

“If you had that idea why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he said. He spotted a cup of coffee sitting on his nightstand that Klaus had made him a few days ago and didn’t hesitate to pick it up and choke it back.

_I thought you knew and just weren’t telling me._

Five sighed. “I don’t keep secrets from you Delores, I thought you would know that, after 30 years.”

_Not secrets, I know you’ve had a lot to think about and that it might have just slipped your mind._

He settled down into the chair across from her. “It helps me to talk things through. Something I wish I could do with my siblings but they’re just too young.”

_Age never stopped you from doing great things._

“Hmph. You have a point there. But then again, they’re not me.”

_I think you don’t give them enough credit._

“I did tell Ben, but I think he’s the only one who could take it in stride. I’m worried enough about Luther finding out that she hurt Allison.”

_Maybe they just need time to think it over._

Five laughed darkly. “Time? We don’t have time.” _After 45 years of waiting, why do I now wish for more time..._ He sighed and took another swig of the disgusting cold coffee. “Funny that the longer you wait for something, the more you hope it never happens.”

_Are you just scared because now that you are saving the world from someone you wanted to save in the first place, you think you might fail? What’s more important to you, the world or your sister? It might not be possible to save both…_

The hair on the back of his neck stood up. He couldn’t tell if that was his thoughts or Delores’ voice. To be fair, sometimes they blended, but this sounded strangely sinister. Almost like a threat or a warning. He was almost afraid to turn around, in case he’d see something other than Delores sitting behind him. But no, there she was, still as ever. He gulped, scared to answer the last question, even to himself when suddenly he heard a clunk from upstairs and Luther’s muffled voice.

“Delores, I need to go. I think you’re safer here than with me.” He scurried out of the room and ran up the stairs toward the sound of voices. At the top of the stairs he almost ran into Pogo, who was just walking into the room where Luther was talking. Five held his breath until Pogo gently closed the door behind him before he went any further. 

“Powers, I don’t understand?” Luther said.

“I do.” Pogo said. “It’s time for the last of your father’s secrets to come to light.” There was a pause before he began explaining. Five crept as close to the door as he could, careful so that they didn’t notice him. “Your father was scared of what she might be capable of and suppressed her powers, for everyone’s sake. It seems Ms. Allison was a victim of a rude awakening of Vanya’s powers.”

_So dad knew about this the whole time…_

Five heard a small sound of protest from Allison and rapid scribbling. “We have to warn Five and Ben,” Luther said, hearing the chair creak and heavy footsteps begin to walk toward the door. “No, Allison, we don’t know what else she could do. Dad wasn’t scared of much, so whatever Vanya can do, she needs to be contained.” _Contained?_ Before that, Five had almost agreed with Luther but now his anger boiled over.

“I’m sorry Luther but you’ll be doing no such thing,” Five said, sauntering into the room.

Luther’s eyes widened. “Five! Oh, thank god you’re alive. Vanya has-“

“I know, Luther. Of course, I know, I was just with our poor sister,” Five said, folding his arms and feeling Ben levels of protectiveness over Vanya.

“Poor girl– Five, she slit Allison’s throat!” Luther said adamantly. Allison shook her head, eyes shining, and held up the pad that she had written on.

_My Fault._

“See, Luther? We just have to take Vanya and...and fix her. Fix the damage shutting down her powers and emotions caused,” He turned to glare at Pogo, who shrunk under his gaze. Talking through it, Five realized he was right. Locking her up was a last resort, but Luther could only think of last resorts. _The big moron._

Luther shook his head. “Look Five, just because you’re older doesn’t mean you get to make all the decisions.”

Five laughed. “Decisions? Luther you have never made a good decision in your life, soyeah, I think I’m going to make all the decisions now.” He blinked away, landing in the parking lot outside of Griddy’s. He knew his anger at Luther wasn’t rational and he could see Delores’ disapproving look in his head.

“Shut up!” he said out loud, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. His knees scraped the concrete and he silently cursed his stupid shorts.

“I hadn’t said anything.” Five looked up to see a familiar face. It was the waitress who’d been working at Griddy’s during the shoot-out. “Oh, it’s you again!” she said happily. “I’m so glad you’re okay, the police were looking everywhere for you.”

“Do me a favor and forget we ever met,” he snapped. She looked hurt. He started to walk away when he noticed that Griddys was closed. “Hey! I thought this place was open 24/7?”

Her face lit up and she smiled proudly. “It’s closing! I’m leaving the business.” Five groaned and put his head in his hands. “Did you want to get a doughnut or something? I put the rest of today’s doughnuts in the trash out back, but they should still be good.”

He turned around to look at her. There was something oddly touching about her humanity, he thought. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “I won’t tell anybody about you, but I gotta say, I think it’ll be hard to forget we ever met. You’re quite the odd kid!”

Five smirked. “I get that a lot.” She waved goodbye and walked to her car.

“Hope she threw out a lot of Jelly doughnuts…” he said quietly to himself before running to the dumpster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always been fascinated with Five and Dolores but who isn't? Thanks for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

When they got to her apartment, Vanya’s exhaustion hit again, and she collapsed on the coach. Ben grabbed a blanket from her bedroom and gently put it on top of her.

“Tea?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Chamomile in the cupboard above the sink,” she said quietly, as he was putting on the kettle. “I remember that was your favorite kind.”

“It still is,” he sighed softly. “I drink it every day. It’s the only thing that calms my stomach.” Preparing tea was muscle memory at this point for Ben after making a cup every night for the past ten years. It was a ritual he used to look forward to, but now it was just a necessity. He liked to think that the Horror enjoyed it too, and that’s why they tended to be calm at night. When he turned around, he saw Vanya had propped herself up and was smiling sadly.

“Oh don’t look at me like that,” he said, laughing slightly as he set down her tea.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re feeling sorry for me or something.” He leaned back into the chair across from her.

“I’m not more sorry for you than I am for Five, or Allison, or any of us.” She said, bringing the cup to her lips and blowing on it to cool it down. “I just remember how much your powers bothered you.” Her voice sounded tense and awkward.

“Fair enough.” Ben smiled. “You remember that more than Five does, apparently.” She cocked her head curiously. “He wants me to try to use my powers again.”

She exhaled sharply. “I’ve only had powers for a few days, and in that time, I’ve almost killed several of my siblings. I don’t blame you for not wanting to use yours.”

Ben laughed softly, making her smile. It was the biggest smile he had seen since he came back.

They were silent for a moment, enjoying the newfound stillness. Ben forgot how much he appreciated this. Sure, he loved all his siblings, but Vanya was the only one he could just be quiet with.

“Why did you never come back?” Vanya looked down at her tea, swirling it carefully around in the cup.

Ben set his cup down gently and looked at her until she finally made eye contact with him. “Mostly because of dad. The day after the mission, at the hospital, he told me not to come back. That I had failed my siblings and myself.”

Vanya sat up, her face contorted in disgust. “Oh my god, Ben I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay Vanya, it was just like any lecture from Dad.”

She shook her head. “Doesn’t mean it wasn’t shitty.”

Strangely, just hearing it outloud took some of the weight off his shoulders, and his heart ached. “Thank you, Vanya. I think I needed to hear that.”

She smiled at him. “I missed you. Why didn’t you come and find us?” She was trying to hide it, but she sounded a little hurt.

“I know and I should have.” Now it was his turn to avoid eye contact. “I just thought you would all be mad at me. Like dad was…I don’t know, it doesn’t make sense now that I say it out loud. I’m sorry!” He was surprised to feel his heart pounding hard in his chest.

Vanya sighed. “Dad fucked us up really bad and there’s not much more to it, I guess.” She was silent for a moment, tapping her feet gently against the couch cushions. “It sucks to have your siblings pissed at you; I know the feeling.”

“Yeah, your book didn’t exactly make me think you weren’t pissed at me yourself.” She whipped her head to look at him, her eyes flashing in anger. “I mean some parts were just cold…the truth, but still.” He smiled sadly and sighed.

“You’re not blaming me for you-“ Ben shook his head vehemently.

“God no, Vanya. It just... made it easier to think you didn't want to see me.” She nodded but her face was closed off again. “And Vanya, for what it’s worth…I’m sorry for leaving you alone.”

She smiled softly and looked up at him. “I think I needed to hear that.”

They were silent again as they finished their tea. Shortly after, Vanya felt too tired to stay awake and went to bed while Ben cleared up the dishes. The normalcy was strange. He’d never had a normal night with any of his siblings and somehow just drinking tea with Vanya felt special. Sure, it was after she killed her boyfriend and almost killed him and two of her other siblings but…well, he would take what he could get.

* * *

Ben hadn't realized he’d fallen asleep until he was woken up by a sharp punch in the stomach.

“Ow!” he yelped. Five was rustling around in the kitchen doing who knows what. “What was that for?” He gently massaged the sore spot and tried to ignore the churning of the Horror rising in him.

“Shh” Five whispered, “Don’t wake Vanya.”

Ben lowered his voice. “Says the guy making all the noise right now.”

Five stopped and looked guiltily around before continuing to load boxes in the fridge. “You were supposed to be keeping watch.”

“For what?”

Five turned to look at him exasperatedly. “I don’t know, maybe the Commission that attacked us the other day? Or the police looking for the murderer of Leonard Peabody?” His whispering was turning into spitting. “Or anyone that could be after our sister? It’s a dangerous world, Ben!”

Ben leapt to his feet. “I’m going to check on Vanya.”

“You haven’t- ugh you’re useless!” Five threw his hands in the air and followed Ben into Vanya’s room. Vanya was fine, of course, sleeping peacefully and snoring slightly. They both sighed in relief and went back into the main room.

“What has gotten into you?” Ben hissed. “I mean you always look annoyed, but I can feel like...waves of rage coming off you.” He sat down on the chair he had been sleeping in.

Trembling, Five poured himself a cup of coffee from Vanya’s coffee pot ( _when did he have time to make that?_ ) and walked over to sit on the coach. “I talked to the others.”

Ben leaned forward. “How is Allison?”

“ _She’s_ fine.” He was nervously picking his hands. “It’s Luther I’m worried about. He found out Vanya has powers from Allison and now wants to ‘contain’ her because that’s what Dad did.”.

Ben grimaced. “And Allison couldn’t even change his mind? Dad’s taught him well.”

Five’s leg had given up bouncing for a moment before he jumped up and began pacing around the room. “Luther is ridiculous. I spent 45 years studying the mechanics of time, and perfected the art of killing to come back and save his life and yet he won’t listen to me.”

“How long did you give him to listen to you?”

Five stopped pacing. “Huh?”

Ben leaned forward. “How much time did you take to explain to him why his idea was wrong?”

Five stopped and stared at him. “I am TRYING to save the WORLD, Ben. I don’t have time to try to explain every little thing to everybody,” he spat.

“Well, it seems like saving the world is going to mean being patient with at least our sister considering that if we don’t, she might destroy it.” Ben held his eye contact.

Five paced once more and then sat down on the couch. “You said it yourself, Vanya is a bomb. What if we say something wrong and she blows us all up?” Ben was quiet so he continued. “All that time, all I wanted was to find out who killed you guys and take them out. But now it’s Vanya.” His voice cracked. “It’s like some cruel joke. My childhood best friend destroys the world.”

Ben shrugged. “Doesn’t that make it easier? I mean it’s not some unknown foe, it’s just Vanya.”

Five looked up at him. “She’s unknown to me now, after forty-five years.” He looked over in the direction of her bedroom. “And when we knew her, she was drugged 24/7. Did we even know her?”

Ben shook his head dismissively. “She’s still our Vanya, Five. Pills can't take that away.” Five leaned back, looking more relaxed but not entirely convinced. Ben added, “We just need to be nice to her and show her we care. Like we always have.”

Five scratched his head. “I’m not sure I’m so good at that anymore.”

“You were never good at that.” Ben laughed quietly and Five glared at him. “And we liked you anyways,” Ben said, kicking him gently under the table. “Just be you, Five, she loves you, trust me. You know she used to leave out peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches for you, every night?” Five smiled a little bit, looking slightly more relaxed.

They were silent for a long time before Ben said to Five, “You go to sleep, I’ll keep watch.” Five looked like he wanted to argue, but even his limitless energy appeared to have run out and he curled up on the couch, covering his head with one of the cushions. Ben kept watch the whole night like he promised. Every time he looked down at his brother, he felt the eerie combination of familiarity and strangeness, not too different from when he looked at Vanya. Maybe Five had a point. Did they ever really know each other?


	6. Chapter 6

When Vanya woke up, it was light outside. Her head hurt less than it had the night before, which she was immensely grateful for. Remembering the day before...Allison’s blood, Leonard’s lifeless body... her stomach twisted with nausea. She instinctively reached for her pills but instead succeeded in knocking an old glass of water off her nightstand. It crashed against the wooden floor sending shards in every direction.

“Shit,” she groaned and forced herself out of bed. Suddenly Five appeared, holding a donut in his hand. Vanya jumped. “Five what the fuck?”

He grinned. “I heard you were awake, so I thought I’d say good morning.” He walked to the door and then turned around. “You coming? I got doughnuts. It’s going to be a big day!” Vanya looked at him, confused and half asleep. “We’re working on figuring out your powers today!”

She sighed. “Yeah, yeah alright. I’ll be right up.” He smiled at her and walked back down the hallway. _Fuck_. Vanya wanted more than anything to just forget she had powers, which she found odd considering that was her greatest wish as a kid. But at the moment the whole concept was twisted up with Leonard in her mind making her skin crawl. She managed to drag herself to the kitchen where Five was… humming?

“Five…are you...okay?” Vanya said, watching as he shoved a mug of coffee into her hand.

“Never been better! Did you know that sleep actually makes you feel good?”

She smiled hesitantly. “Yeah…I was aware of that?” She turned to look for Ben, who was passed out on the couch, mouth wide open.

“He kept watch so I could sleep last night so we’ll let him be. What a brother huh? Just incredible,” he whispered loudly, elbowing her and…winking?

“Watch? From...what?” Vanya slowly turned back to look at his grinning face with a mixture of wonder and horror. She never thought she’d live to see perky Five but here was, in the flesh, handing her a plate with glazed donut on it.

“There were only apple crullers in the dumpster, but I remembered you don’t like those anymore, so I got you a regular glazed. What happened with that anyway, huh?” He tore off a piece of donut and chewed it furiously.

“The dumpster…?” Vanya said, looking suspiciously down at the item on her plate.

Five laughed. “Oh yeah! Griddy’s is closed now. The owner is leaving or something…I don’t know. But these were ones she had just thrown out!”

“Oh, okay.” She looked up at Five. “You’re kinda freaking me out with this bubbly side, buddy.”

He bristled, but then all the blood drained from his face. “Oh really? I just want you to be calm Vanya,” he said, very slowly and seriously.

She leaned away from him. “That’s just creeping me out more, Five. What’s going on?” They stared at each other for a few seconds before Five looked away and tried to smile.

“Nothing, sister dear! Just worried about your well-being.” He flashed her one of his signature crazed chimpanzee smiles. And that, strangely enough, made Vanya calm down more than anything else he had said. Still looking at her, he shouted, “Ben! Get your breakfast, it’s time to go train Vanya!”

* * *

Five had returned to his normal self since Vanya had told him off, but he was still the most talkative of the three (which, all things considered, was pretty normal as well). He dragged Ben and Vanya into the car (along with coffee and donuts). Vanya only panicked once, thinking she left her violin back at Leonard’s cabin, but Ben reached into the back and grabbed it.

“You guys really left it out here all night?” she chided, opening up the clasps.

“You’re impossible, Vanya,” Ben said, rolling his eyes.

“I thought it might be useful for your training, because that’s how you slit Allison’s throat,” Five piped up.

“Really?” Ben said, shooting a disapproving look at Five.

Vanya felt her breath leave her body. “Yeah…right.” She didn’t remember telling Five about how the situation with Allison went down but realized a blood-stained bow next to their sister bleeding out must have been pretty obvious. Looking at the bow now, she felt the tears come again. They dripped onto the bowstrings, darkening the dried blood. Wincing, she tried to wipe it off.

_I’m sorry Allison. I’m so sorry_.

She felt Ben squeeze her hand and she smiled appreciatively up at him.

“Five said she was okay when he went to check on her last night,” he said quietly.

Vanya turned to Five “Oh yeah, how are they all doing?”

Five glanced at Vanya through the rearview mirror. “They’re all safe.” He then fell silent and leaned over the steering wheel, as if looking for something. At this point, they were bumping along a gravel road shrouded by overgrown woods. When they reached a small clearing in the trees that led to an abandoned field, Five turned off the car.

“Here we are,” he said.

“What is this place?” Vanya asked, gingerly stepping out of the car.

Five shrugged. “Found it on the map this morning and when I went to check it out and nobody was here so,” he gestured grandly, “a perfect place for you to practice without hurting anyone, just like you wanted.”

She gulped and shifted on her feet. “Okay.”

Ben got out of the car and walked over to her. “We’ll be right here with you,” he said, taking hold of her hand and squeezing it. She smiled slightly and turned toward the field. As she got closer, she noticed the grass came up to her chest.

“Ummm, Five? Isn’t it going to be a little hard to do anything in here?”

“That’s where you come in.” Her eyes widened and she looked at the thick grass and vines pressing close enough that it almost felt like they were reaching out to pull her in. “You can control soundwaves, right?” She looked back at him, coffee cup in hand. He went to the car and loudly whacked the cup against the hood of the car, making both her and Ben jump. “Get your head in the game!” he said, bringing the cup down against the metal once more.

“You know, I could use the-“ But, realizing he was just going to keep doing it until the cup broke, Vanya attempted to concentrate on the loud clanging sound. Just like yesterday with the violin, but this time with an obnoxious clanging noise. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing only on the ringing sound. Like when she was by the lake with Leonard, she started to notice other quiet noises. The leaves rustling and branches clattering in the wind. A stream gurgling over some rocks. The low rumble of cars on the highway, her brothers inhaling and exhaling: Ben’s measured to an eerily perfect degree, and Five’s quick and high in his chest. The loud clang sounded again, but this time, she was ready. She drew the vibration towards her and let it build up in her chest. Then, she opened her eyes, took a deep breath and then breathed out, forcing the energy over the field.

“Holy shit!” She heard Five yelp. Before her, in a semi-circle that extended at least fifty meters, all the grass was flattened. She looked back at her brothers with a shy smile. Five was grinning even more manically than usual as Ben gave her a thumbs up.

Vanya stepped out onto the grass, which still yielded a slight spring, but was well and thoroughly crushed. It was incredibly empowering to look down at something tangible and realize that she had done that. She had made something move without touching it! She was a fucking jedi and sound waves were the force. When she looked back, her brothers hadn’t moved an inch. “Well, come on in?” she said, beckoning them toward her.

Five walked toward her gladly, but Ben still hung back. “I’m good!” he said, voice barely audible from the distance.

“Psh, coward,” Five called, coming up next to Vanya.

“Hey, you can teleport away if she loses control! I can’t.”

“I won’t lose control,” Vanya said, feeling the surest of herself that she had ever felt.

“How do you know?”

“Because…I’m happy right now.” She hadn’t realized before she said it aloud, but it was true. Unlike this morning, she felt somewhat excited to have powers. She had a purpose, a reason for being in the Umbrella Academy. She was extraordinary. Plus, hanging out with Five and Ben felt like old times again. In fact, even better than old times. Five had relaxed a little bit and Ben was surer of himself. She had her brothers back and Dad wasn’t hovering over them disapprovingly. What could be better?

“It’s funny, ever since I got off those pills, I’ve felt great...but I also just feel angry all the time.” She looked up at Five and Ben, who were looking at her concerned. “Is that how you guys feel? Furious at everyone and everything?”

“You have more reason to be angry than most,” Five replied. “Dad probably muted your anger with those pills because it relates to your powers.”

“And yesterday, I was mad at Allison when I hurt her,” she said quietly.

Ben started walking slowly towards her. “Do you think you could ever be mad at us like that?”

Her eyes widened in horror. “I hope not! Although I did hurt you yesterday.” She looked at her feet, worry beginning to twist her stomach.

“But when we told you to stop, you did,” Five countered.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, Vanya, you’re fine,” Ben said, walking over. As he neared, Vanya noticed he was holding her violin. He held it out to her. “Do you want to try?”

She accepted it hesitantly. “What should I do? I mean, with my powers.”

Five shrugged. “Make something happen?”

She nodded and slipped the violin under her neck and started to play the piece she’d been preparing for her concert. As the bow touched the strings, Vanya smiled. Controlling sound waves from a metal clang, while apparently possible, was nowhere near as satisfying or fulfilling as controlling sound waves from her violin. It was a consistent source, and one which she could control the frequency and amplitude to her liking. Playing music felt so much more natural to her now than when she was on her medication. She closed her eyes and moved with the music, letting it do what it wanted. It was an extension of herself that she had not noticed before.

When Vanya opened her eyes, everything around her was moving. Ben and Five were looking around in awe as leaves and sticks seemed to sway with the music. As the song intensified, Vanya noticed how some of the waves became visible, curling around the grass like Ben’s tentacles and blurring the trees far away. She gently pushed the waves against Five and Ben.

“Hey!” Ben yelled, as they fell back onto the soft grass.

“Is that all you got?” Five shouted, grinning maniacally.

Vanya grinned. “You asked for it.” She took a deep breath and focused, quieting her mind and focusing on the music until it was all she could hear. Could she do it? Could she really? The wind picked up around her and the grass previously only twitching from the breeze, lifted from the ground to flutter dreamily in the air. Five was still standing, feet flat on the ground, looking amused and bewildered. His voice floated into her head: _Dad probably muted your anger with those pills because it relates to your powers_. Anger, anger, she just had to tap into it carefully.

The easiest was Leonard. The crooked smile she used to love that grew too big and called her nothing. _You’re ordinary, ordinary, ORDINARY!_

“Whoa, Vanya, what are you doing?” Five’s voice sounded panicked. Around him, the wind was picking up and suddenly his feet weren’t touching the ground. There was a rope white energy that seemed to extend from her to him.

“Holy shit Vanya!” Ben shouted. “Are you okay?” Vanya took a deep breath and focused on all the fake smiles, all the care, and then the humiliation as she realized it was all just manipulation, just a means to an end. As she leaned into the swells of the music, all the hatred and fury overwhelmed her. It was only her love for her brother that kept her in control. She began to lower him, but he didn’t relax until she set him softly on the ground.

“What the hell, Vanya!” he said with a glare, smoothing down his blazer.

Ben looked concerned. “Your face…” His voice trailed off. “It looked very …white.”

“Astute observation, Ben,” Five grumbled and Ben glared at him.

“Do you feel okay, Vanya?”

She shrugged. “A bit tired, but pretty good. It’s starting to feel good, this whole…power thing,” she said with a small smile.

Five squeezed her shoulder and smiled begrudgingly, looking prouder than ever and then turned to Ben. “Okay, now it’s your turn!”

The color faded from Ben’s face. “That wasn’t part of the plan.”

Vanya turned to Ben. “I don’t know if your powers are anything like mine, but I truly feel better than I have in years now that I can use them.”

“Oh, so it’s not because your favorite brothers are back,” Ben muttered and folded his arms.

“Ben! Your powers are a part of you, you can’t just ignore them away,” Five said.

Ben pursed his lips. “Oh, I can, and I have.”

“I’m living proof that only works for so long,” Vanya muttered in response.

Five stared at Ben for a second and then shrugged in exasperation. “Suit yourself, I’m done trying to convince you.” He quickly turned around and walked away, heading back towards the car.

Vanya set the violin down and clasped Ben’s arms with her hands. “Why don’t you want to use your powers?” She asked, gently.

“I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to hurt other people. I think those are pretty valid reasons,” Ben responded. Vanya nodded but remained silent, a tactic which she learned from him. Let the person say everything they need to say before you try to comfort them. “It’s so evil, Vanya. You, and Five, and everyone else... your powers are yours alone. My powers belong to the Horror, not me.”

“Remember when we were kids, and the Horror would steal a dozen jelly donuts without you noticing? Or when you would poke us all under the table with your tentacles and we would have to keep from laughing? I found you once lying on your back with a tentacle holding up your book. I almost tripped over the doorway out of shock.” She laughed and was glad to see a smile forming on Ben’s face. “Just because there is a lot of darkness with your powers, doesn’t mean there aren’t also good things with it, too.”

Ben seemed too lost in thought to reply. His expression was the same one after he finished a book or when trying to think up a particularly good comeback. She squeezed his arm and said, “Just…think about it,” and then followed Five to the car.

Five looked apprehensive. “We should go,” he said. “I need to check on the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorta) fun fact: The idea of Five and Ben helping Vanya with her powers inspired this whole fic!  
> Giddy goofy Five was so fun to write (hope it wasn't too OOC... although I don't think we've never seen Five with a full night's sleep in the show?)


	7. Chapter 7

The car ride was silent, with an exhausted Vanya sprawled across the backseat, and a pensive Ben looking sullenly out the window. Five was nervous, but he was always nervous, so all things considered, he felt okay.

“I’d like to see Allison,” Vanya piped up.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Five replied absentmindedly.

Vanya paused and the answered resolutely, “I want to talk to her.” Ben looked over at Five and mouthed _Luther_ to which Five replied _I know_. “Hey, what are you guys talking about?”

“Nothing!” They said simultaneously and then glared at each other.

She leaned between the two front seats. “Spit it out.”

“Vanya, seatbelt. This isn’t the seventies.” Five chided, looking at her pointedly through the rearview mirror. She glared him down, and then leaned back sullenly and folded her arms.

He sighed. “We’ll go to the Academy. I want to make sure they’re okay, especially because Harold Jenkins is out of the equation and the Commission might want to cause trouble.”

“Wouldn’t they be after me?” Vanya asked.

Five pursed his lips. “Of course. They want the apocalypse to happen no matter what so you’re staying with us.”

A worried silence fell over the car that lasted until they got to the Academy. Five jumped out of the car and ran up the steps, only stopping when he realized his siblings weren’t with him. He looked back. Vanya was leaning against the car, her violin case slung over her shoulder, and Ben was quietly talking to her.

“…No matter what they say, Five and I have got your back.” Five heard Ben say as he walked over to the two of them.

“I second what Ben said,” Five said. “We won’t let them do anything to you.”

Vanya nodded seriously and inhaled shakily. “Why would they do something to me, they’re my family?” Five chose not to answer and gently motioned her to the door.

“You’re going to be fine, Vanya,” Ben said, as they got to the door. Five started to twist the knob but found that the door was already open.

“Huh, that’s weird,” he mumbled to himself. They walked into the dark and silent entrance hall. The lamps were unlit which meant the only light came through the partially covered windows above the stairway. The familiar chandelier had been lost thanks to Cha-Cha a few days ago which made the room feel larger and more imposing than usual.

“Luther? Allison? Diego? Klaus?” Ben called, but the names just echoed back. He looked at Five and gulped. Five blinked away to search the rest of the house, leaving his other two siblings to search the first floor. With each empty room, Five felt increasingly more panicked. The room where he yelled at Luther the night before? Abandoned. All their bedrooms? Unkempt, the beds cold. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!_

“Five!” Ben shouted from the first floor. “You’re going to have to see this.” Five appeared where Ben was standing with Vanya, next to the door to the courtyard.

“What?” he said. “Show me!” Ben handed him a note.

_10 Spring Street -H_

Five’s blood ran cold. “Of course, it’s her. GOD, I knew they left me alone too long, I knew there was something suspicious. Why didn’t I figure it out sooner?” He kicked the wall and ran his hands frantically through his hair. His mind was running a mile a minute. Why would she leave a note specifically addressed to him? Did she want to find him in the first place? Nobody else would know who “H” was.

“Who? Five what’s going on?” Vanya asked, her voice trembling.

“The Handler.” Five spat. “And the Commission. This has to do with the apocalypse somehow, I know it does, I just can’t figure it out.” He paced back and forth. He had to go. There was no other choice. But should he take his siblings?

“So…our siblings are being held at 10 Spring Street?” Ben asked, taking back the note from Five and looking puzzledly down at it.

Five stopped abruptly. “Of course, Ben. Any other insights you’d like to add?” He snapped and then returned to furiously pacing.

Ben was unfazed. “Does anyone know where it is?” he said, looking between Vanya and Five. “I haven’t lived in this city since I was seventeen.”

Vanya nodded. “I’ve gone to Spring Street for some Concertos. There’s a bunch of abandoned warehouses there with great acoustics.” She looked at Five. “It’s near the park, between there and the Sound.”

Five was looking at her, but not comprehending her words. “Why would they kidnap our siblings? It’s got to be a trap. It has to be. But why?”

“Shouldn’t we go and check it out?” Vanya said. “I’ve got powers now, Five. You wouldn’t be alone. Ben you can be the lookout.” She started to smile. “Wow, I’m finally part of a mission!” she said with a shiver. Whether that was out of excitement or fear, Five could not tell.

Five shook his head. “Vanya, you’ve never done this kind of stuff before, we don’t know what we’re dealing with!”

Vanya stepped toward him. “The Commission kidnapped our siblings. I don’t think we have a lot of time, even if it is a trap. You’ve said it yourself, they’re ruthless! Maybe they’re going to hurt them, or kill them, Five, we don’t know! We have to find them!”

Five stood in stunned silence. He’d never heard Vanya be this adamant about something or speak this forcefully before. Her fists were balled up and eyes were flashing silver, emotion obviously getting the better of her. He looked at Ben, shocked as he was. Ben shrugged in acceptance.

Five turned back to Vanya. “Okay. But you’re following my lead, okay? Remember you don’t know what you’re doing,” she nodded nervously. “And Ben?”

Ben shrugged. “I won’t be much use to you, but I also won’t leave you two alone, so I’m in.”

He beckoned them close to him and they huddled together. “I’ll jump us outside the address. We get a look at what we’re dealing with, and then we regroup inside.” They nodded and grabbed his hands. Five took a deep breath, doing the familiar calculation for the spatial jump in his head, this time to a place he’d never been before. He grabbed his siblings’ hands and they landed practically on top of a bush across the street from the location.

“Ah fuck, I got a twig in my mouth. Five, really?” Ben said, spitting out a few leaves. Vanya looked similarly disgruntled, plucking twigs out of her hair with her fingers. Five rolled his eyes and turned to look at the scene. Even though it was broad daylight, the street was dead quiet. No random passersby, no cars, no nothing. Just the occasional rattling sound of metal from when gusts blew across the flimsy warehouses. An exterior door on the huge building squeaked as it swung on its hinges with every slight breeze.

“Hey, I think I hear them,” Vanya said.

Five turned to look at her. Her eyes were closed, and her brow was furrowed in concentration. “How?” he asked incredulously.

She opened her eyes. “Sound waves,” she said, with a small self-conscious smile. She was smiling more than Five remembered.

He shook his head, feeling a wave of pride come up. “Can you tell where? And what are they saying?”

She closed her eyes once more and was quiet for a moment. “Definitely close to us, right on the other side of that wall.” She paused. “Luther’s talking…. He’s comforting Allison. Oh, and Diego’s blaming him for getting them into this mess.”

Ben laughed softly. “Seems like nothing’s changed.”

“Can you tell if there is anyone else there?” Five pressed.

She shook her head. “I can’t hear any other voices.”

Five nodded. “Shall we?” He motioned to Vanya and Ben. They all got up and crept out from behind the bush. Five looked at both of them, Vanya to his left waiting for his signal and Ben, to his right, crouched and ready to run. He whispered “three, two, one” and they dashed across the street to the door, instinctively diving on either side of it. Vanya jiggled the doorknob, it was locked.

“Shit!” she hissed under her breath. Five grinned at her before blinking to the other side. He looked behind him and saw an empty hallway, before turning back and twisting the lock open. However, before he could let his siblings in, he heard the _thwip_ sound of a tranquilizer gun.

“What the-” He turned around to see a familiar face.

“There you are, you little shit.” And everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated calling this fic "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" but decided against it   
> Thanks for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

Vanya stood by the door waiting expectantly for Five to open it when she heard an unknown woman’s voice. She looked at Ben in horror, mouth opening and closing before she found her own voice.

“FIVE!” Vanya shouted and rattled the door. It was unlocked this time, so she stumbled into the dark hallway. Five was nowhere to be seen. On the ground was a dart. “FIVE!” She shouted again, panic rising in her throat.

“Vanya shh-“ Ben’s voice cut off abruptly and when Vanya turned around, he was gone.

“BEN! BEN!” she shrieked, running outside to look for him, but it appeared that he, too, had disappeared without a trace.

The world started to spin and she felt like she was losing control. “Fuck, fuck, this is all my fault. Why did I make them do this?” Her hands shook as she squeezed them tighter and tighter. Five was right. Why did she talk them into this?

“BEN! FIVE!” she yelled again. She didn’t quite know why she kept yelling...maybe it was because on some level, she’d already accepted her incoming capture. Whoever could snap up both of her brothers like that surely would have no issue taking her, too. Suddenly, she heard voices yelling her name. _My siblings!_ Snapping into action, Vanya looked desperately for a way to get to them. She ran down the dimly lit hallway and found a door to her right. She rammed it open with her shoulder and stumbled into one of the gigantic warehouses. It took Vanya a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness.

“Vanya!” Klaus had been the one who’d been calling her. “Thank god, you’re here.” She squinted to try to make out the figures of her siblings.

“Where are you guys?” She shouted. All she could see was dust dancing in the rays of light streaming through the tiny windows at the top of the building.

“Just keep going straight. We’re on the other side of the warehouse from you.” Diego said. As she ran in the direction of their voices, her footsteps echoed throughout the large space. Her eyes adjusted and she saw them, strapped to chairs with ropes tied crudely but securely around their arms, stomachs, legs, and necks. Klaus was smiling a warm smile, the kind only Klaus could manage after being kidnapped. Diego was next to him, silent and still seething at Luther, who was eyeing her warily. Next to him sat Allison who was nervously smiling at her.

“Oh Allison!” Vanya knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands, which were tied together. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you badly?” Allison’s smile grew but wobbled as her eyes filled with tears.

“She can’t talk anymore.” Luther said coldly. Vanya noticed the bandage on her sister’s throat and the relief she had felt soon turned to horror.

“Allison I-”

Diego interrupted, “I hate to cut in on whatever’s going on, but can you untie us?”

Vanya nodded quickly and flashed Allison an apologetic look she hoped would be enough to show her remorse for now before trying to get her the knots around her undone.

“So, how did you find us?” Luther asked.

“They left a note with the address. Five said it was probably a trap, but I wanted to find you guys and well...“ She paused, feeling her stomach sink with guilt. “It was a trap. They captured Five and Ben and I don’t know what to do.”

Luther’s face softened slightly. “Vanya, stay calm. Please stay calm.”

“So, you have powers?” Diego asked, nonchalantly.

Before she could answer, the door that she had come in slammed open and dark figures flooded in, their boots thundering on the linoleum floor. Vanya stood up slowly and walked toward the dark figures. They were soldiers in a semicircle formation, dressed head to toe in black and had pointed their guns straight at Vanya. She bent down and snapped open the clasps on her violin case purely on muscle memory, as she didn’t want to take her eyes off the forward creeping masked battalion. A woman with platinum silver hair and a short black dress stepped out of the mass and halted the soldiers with a firm hand.

“So, you must be Five’s family! So excited to meet all of you, after all this time.” She smiled a sickly-sweet smile, pointing to Luther. “Ah Luther! Wouldn’t miss you in a crowd, you big strong leader...well according to his daddy of course.” Luther bristled but looked down, almost ashamed. The woman smiled slightly but quickly moved on to her next target. “Ooh and Diego, the troublemaker! We’ve had our hands full with you from time to time. Luckily no need to take you out of the equation…Yet.” She laughed to herself. “And Allison, dear! I’ve always wanted to recruit you. When you get your voice back, I think you’d be quite useful for us. Just consider it.” Her eyes landed on Klaus and she shook her head with a disapproving smile. “Klaus, you did trouble our operatives quite a bit. We’ve had people kill them before but never break them up. How did you do it?” It was an obviously rhetorical question from the condescending tone of her voice.

“Who are you?” Vanya said. “And where are my other brothers?”

“Hello, Vanya dear. I’m the Handler,” She said, shrugging nonchalantly. “And Five and Ben are... somewhere else.” She began casually walking so Vanya quickly tucked the violin under her chin and started playing a single, simple note to create a barrier so that this woman could only get so close to her. The Handler stumbled from the force.

“Oh!” She laughed. “So, you’re figuring out your powers, Vanya, ooh goody goody!” She clapped sarcastically. “Now, I’m sorry to ruin this special moment, but I’m going to have to kill your siblings!” She looked at Vanya with fake sympathy. “I don’t really want to do it, it really is too much work, but it’s the only way.”

“The only way for…” Vanya asked.

The Handler laughed. “Oh, but that would be spoiling the surprise wouldn’t it?” She looked back at the army behind her and raised her hand as a signal.

Vanya clenched her jaw. “Not on my watch,” she muttered and raked her mind for something to play. _Why not practice for tomorrow?_ Bach’s D Minor Partita notes floated in the air, and the whole room became transfixed, just like at her audition. She took a deep breath and let the energy flow through her body. She noticed this time it took no time to get into the music and less time to focus and channel the converted energy where she wanted it to go. She blasted the guns and their owners against the wall but left the woman standing, hoping that this intimidation tactic would show her she was not to be trifled with.

“Holy shit.” Luther and Diego said in unison. The admiration in their voice made Vanya smile.

“If I could give you a thumbs up, I would Vanny.” Klaus said. She looked back and smiled at their shocked faces which were quickly turning from impressed to horrified.

“Vanya, look behind you,” Luther shouted. To her horror, more soldiers came flooding through the door but this time, they didn’t hesitate to start firing at Vanya.

The Handler laughed and started to walk away. “Good luck Vanya dear! See you after you destroy the world!”

_Destroy the world? What does she mean?_ But she couldn’t allow herself to focus on what the Handler said because of the barrage of bullets fired toward her and her siblings. Furiously playing, she scraped the bow on the strings in panic, but the mistakes started coming. She noticed her siblings having to duck to avoid the shots. _I’m useless. I’m plain and ordinary and useless._ She couldn’t summon enough energy quick enough to stop all of the soldiers and the woman who took her brothers away from her. Did she have enough power to fight that many people? She could feel the energy that’d once come so easily ebbing away - but the waves of black clothed soldiers just kept coming closer. She wasn’t sure if the masses were dying or multiplying, like the army itself was a Hydra. She needed to take down the Handler, that was for certain. Maybe that would stop them from coming. She fired a blast at the Handler who got knocked down, but the masses of people didn’t seem to listen or care. And the Handler got right up again.

_You’re ordinary. Ordinary. **Ordinary**!_ She forced Leonard’s voice through her brain again, but the words had lost their impact. She was over him and everything he was. There was no more anger left. What was she angry about? She’d never known who or what hurt Ben, and she couldn’t blame Five for going away. _You’re ordinary, you have no place here_. Wait who was that? _Number seven! Number seven stop fooling yourself, you’ll never be a great violin player. Number seven, leave us, we have important things to do. Number seven, he won’t come back, he’s lost in time. Number seven, he’s dead. Your brother Ben is dead._

The panic that she had felt rising in her throat earlier suddenly became rage - rage unlike anything she’d ever felt. Of course, her father. Her father, who’d made her feel small her entire life, just because he was scared of what she _might_ become. But of course, her father wasn’t the only one who wronged her, he wasn’t the only person she had ever been mad at. She was angry at Pogo, for never telling her the truth. At her mother, for never frowning. At her birth mother, for giving her up. Rage at Luther and his bowing to Reginald, rage at Diego for constantly reminding her that she didn’t belong, rage at Klaus for never giving her the time of day as a kid, rage at Allison for all the years of shutting her out. She could only think in terms of anger. Her emotional range started at irritation and increased to fury: there was no limit to the intensity of her rage. Her anger, the energy, it coursed through her. Did it come from her or from the strings of the violin? She pulled the music out with every stroke of the bow. It had become muscle memory with all her practice at this point, but now it was like it was what her arm was meant to do. If she made one little mistake, she would likely blow up anything and everything. But was that such a bad thing?

She turned to the masses of shooting and flicked her bow to squash it, unmoved by the soldiers’ cries of pain. In fact, they only fueled her. Fueled the desire for vengeance that had been locked away for so long in her and was now free and rearing its ugly powerful head. Vanya had never felt so powerful and she never wanted this feeling to end. This was what her father had hidden from her. This is what he had deprived her of. She wished he was alive right now so she could show him who she was once and for all.

The Handler was easy to spot, looking different from all the others and while she forgot why she wanted to take her out of the equation, she knew she had to kill her. And she wanted to do it dreadfully. She lifted up the woman in the air, who finally looked a little panicked.

“Vanya, you can rule the world! You can destroy it! But you don’t have to kill me!” she pleaded.

Vanya smiled. “I don’t have to, but I want to.” And she slammed her against the wall just like she had done those men that attacked Leonard.

And still the soldiers kept coming into the warehouse and falling until bodies littered the floor. Vanya didn’t notice her brothers and sisters shouting at her to stop, shouting about the roof falling in. They seemed so small now, there were much bigger things to pay attention to, more things to destroy in the name of wrath. She moved out of the collapsing building, not quite sure if she was floating or walking, not quite sure what she was looking for until she heard her name.

“Vanya!” It was Ben. And Five, leaning against him.

It took a second to recognize them. _Ah Five and Ben, my brothers that left._ The rage inside of her hit fever pitch and she took a deep breath in to blast them into oblivion but… something stopped her. Perhaps it was that they just stood there looking at her. Not trying to hurt her. They looked terrified, as they should be. She should be their worst nightmare. But there was a part of her that screamed at her to stop. It was disconcerting. She didn’t like it. It didn’t fit in her world right now, these emotions other than anger. She couldn’t quite identify them, nor did she want to. Why were they here? Why did her brothers come back this time?

_Leave!_ She extended her arms out, letting a wave wash over them and knocking the two of them over.

“Vanya, wait!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always have enjoyed reading people's interpretations of White Violin!Vanya. Such an interesting aspect of her character... anyway thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the longest and darkest chapter yet...so of course its my favorite   
> tw referenced suicide

For a moment, Ben could only see black. And then the breathlessness and nausea kicked in, something that he’d only experienced to a lesser degree with Five’s spatial jumps. He heard the clicking of heels against a linoleum floor and when his vision steadied, he saw someone in blue pleated pants and a briefcase quickly slam the door shut. The flickering lightbulb above him shook with the impact, briefly interrupting the electrical whine and creating dancing shadows in the small dirty room.

Shaking off the confusion and motion sickness, Ben stumbled over to Five, who was collapsed on the floor. “Five! Five, can you hear me? Are you okay?” Ben lifted Five’s head which lolled back in his arms. Putting a finger to Five’s throat, he was relieved to find a steady pulse. _Probably just knocked out…_

Setting Five’s head in his lap, Ben surveyed his surroundings for possible exits. No windows, no vents, only the one door he’d heard the stranger lock when they’d exited the room. If only Five were awake, he could get them out of this. Or, well, anyone of his siblings could get them out of this. Diego could do something with knives and Vanya could do something with her newfound power.

_Shit, Vanya!_ His sister's terrified face as they opened the warehouse door flashed in front of his eyes. They had abandoned her, once again. But this time, it would only be for a little while and it really wasn’t their fault. They’d get back to her soon, Ben was sure of it, but...he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t still worried about how she might take it. Would she freak out? Before last night, Ben had always found his sister to be level-headed and understanding, but now he realized she’d only behaved so calmly because of the pills. _When we knew her, she was taking pills to numb her up. Did we even know her?_ Fuck Five for saying that. He knew it wasn’t true. Deep down, he was sure of it. He just couldn’t convince himself of it yet.

He felt a sudden slight movement and looked down to see Five’s eyelids fluttering open.

“Five?”

“Ben?” Five replied, his voice cracking as he struggled to sit himself up.

“How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” he slurred. “They-“ He made a finger gun and pointed it at his shoulder, where there was a tiny hole in the fabric of his jacket.

“Oh, like a tranquilizer gun?” Five gave a nod before flopping down on his lap again.

“So...tired...can’t...move,” he forced out. Ben felt utterly helpless. Without Five, what could he do? At least Five was awake. Ben felt some of the tension leave his muscles and he exhaled a sigh of relief. Maybe they could get to Vanya quicker than he thought.

“Is the door locked?” Five asked. His voice was starting to sound steadier.

“Yup.” Ben said. “Maybe if we wait a bit, you’ll get your strength back, and we can get out of here?” Suddenly they heard a huge crash come from somewhere.

“Time is not something we have.” Five hissed. “Did you hear that? Vanya is-” He groaned and winced, putting his hand to his head. “What the hell did they drug me up with?” He shook it off. “That’s the beginning of the apocalypse. Whether it's Vanya or not we need to stop it.” He sat up and rubbed his temple.

“What if it's Vanya? What do we do?” Ben asked, afraid of the answer.

“Whatever it takes to stop her,” Five said simply. “Even if that means-“ He winced. “-doing something we don’t want to. It’s the world we’re saving. One life, in exchange for-“

Ben cut him off. “No. We’ll try everything we can to stop her, but we’re not killing her. I know what it feels like to be treated like a monster, and I know Vanya. I know she must feel scared and confused.”

Five sighed, seeming too exhausted to continue to debate with him. “Well, speaking of monsters, we need to get out of here…” He looked down at Ben’s stomach.

Ben shook his head furiously. “ _No_ , no Five. Unless you want us both dead, that’s not going to happen.”

“Well, we’re all going to be dead if we don’t get out of here,” Five snapped in a venomous tone. He forced himself to sit up and looked imploringly at Ben. “Look, we need to get out of here, find Vanya, and make sure she’s not... destroying the world,” he said. “You can control them, Ben. You’ve kept them at bay for all these years. And I bet they’d enjoy ripping that door off its hinges.”

Ben knew Five was right because he’d thought something similar many times himself. But that didn’t calm the wave of sheer panic that gripped him, a feeling akin to the Horror somehow grabbing a hold of his insides. He broke out into a cold sweat and suddenly Five’s presence at his side felt too close. He gently pushed his brother to the side and stood up in an effort to get some air, but then felt something rising from his stomach. He ran to the corner and puked.

“Really?” Five said, his nose wrinkling in disgust, but a glare from Ben shut him up. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’m going to die, so...no.” He held up his hand to stop Five from saying whatever he was about to say. “I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it, just … just …. I need to breathe.” Five nodded, but the concerned look remained on his face.

_Just because there is a lot of darkness with your powers, doesn’t mean there aren’t also good things with it, too._ Vanya’s smile and the memory of her comforting hand on his arm calmed him down. He tried to remember what it was like before The Mission. How he called them when he was calm and not in battle, telling them not to attack his siblings or Dad, only his target. He held his breath and let himself relax very slightly and give into the writhing mass that had plagued his stomach for years. He breathed out very slowly and carefully, as if dusting off the cobwebs to the portal in his stomach.

“Hi little guy!” Five said, as if talking to a baby animal. One tentacle reared dangerously close to him, but Ben pushed it towards the door. Ben could feel their hunger. They were weak from being shut away all those years. _When we get out, there will be food, just not him. He’s too small._ They seemed to understand and made their way, slithering around the door to yank it open.

“What the fuck is that?” A voice from outside called. Ben looked over at a smirking Five as the door screeched off its hinges and smashed into the hallway. _Be fre_ e. And suddenly they desperately tore out of him, ravenous for sustenance. And then the screams that had haunted him since childhood began. Ben crouched down on the ground, trying to gain control, but he felt the world slipping around him. _Fuck it’s happening again, it’s happening again_. It was too much. He had kept them inside for too long and now they would never want to go back in. His mouth no longer tasted like bile, but blood, oozing out of his mouth like it had all those years ago. So much, so _much_ , it never stopped trickling out of his mouth for _days_.

But suddenly, he felt a hand grab his own, and the violent bloody world he had been in fell away. The screams had stopped and there was no blood trickling out of his mouth. The small dark room with the whining lightbulb was back and he felt grounded again. He looked over at Five who stared at him with intensity.

“You’re okay, Ben. You did it.” Hesitantly, Ben looked out the door to the hallway now covered in blood. Taking a deep breath, he forced the portal to close, much to the Horror’s chagrin but they weren’t as discontent as they had been previously.

“I’ll let you out again soon,” he whispered to them, patting his stomach gently. He turned to Five and smiled. “Thank you for having my back there.”

Five pursed his lips awkwardly and shrugged. “Always,” he said. “Now, to find our dear sister and stop the apocalypse.” He tried to stand up, but his legs just wouldn’t hold him.

Ben grinned. “Can I finally give you a piggyback ride?” Five looked at him with murder in his eyes. “We all have to make sacrifices. I faced my biggest fear. You can get a damn piggyback ride.” He turned his back towards Five invitingly. Five glared at him but gave in and sullenly clambered on his back,

He put his hands around Ben’s neck. “You tell this to no one,” Five growled.

Ben nodded seriously, making a mental note to tell Vanya later. “Of course.”

Standing up, his own legs wobbled a bit and he had to take a second before walking on to the hallway. The stench of blood was overwhelming. It covered the walls and even the lights, giving the hallway a pink glow. Despite this, the Horror had cleaned up pretty well.

“How many people were out here?” Five whispered in awe.

“I don’t want to know,” Ben said, shaking his head. “So which direction should I go?”

“To Vanya. Try that door?” He ran up the stairs to the door Five had pointed at and opened it a crack. People carrying guns were running mostly in one direction and shouting at each other. “We need to go where everyone else is going. I’m afraid they’re heading towards her.” Five hissed in his ear.

“Yes but-“ Ben motioned towards all the people. “The Horror is going to cause too much of a distraction.”

Five bit his lip. “I think I might be able to manage one trip, but after that, it’s all you.” Ben nodded. Five slipped off his shoulders and leaned against the wall for support. His legs seemed to have found some of their strength again, because he remained upright. Five grabbed hold of Ben’s arm and then jumped into a swirling chaos.

When they landed, it felt like outside Leonard’s cabin but even more so. Ben could barely see past the blurring from sound waves. He squinted and noticed that part of the roof had been torn off and pushed against the opposite corner of the room. Vanya herself had become a light source, her clothes and skin glowing bright white. Her face was gaunt and her eyes wide and were sunk deep into her face giving her an eerie skeleton-like appearance and unreadable expression. Everything about her was static, paused in mid-air where she was floating, except her right arm, furiously playing the violin. She didn’t look like herself. She barely looked human. And the song that she played was heavily distorted, adding to the eeriness of it all. When Ben finally tore himself away from looking at her, he realized to his horror that they were surrounded by dead bodies. The bodies of the people they had seen earlier, running frantically in the hallway. His stomach churned, the Horror wanting to get out and have a feast, but he kept them in. Vanya was the goal, Vanya was important.

Five was leaning against him, grasping onto his arm for dear life. “We have to stop her!” he shouted. “She’s going to cause the apocalypse!”

“We can’t hurt her!” Ben shouted.

Five stared challengingly at him. “I’ll give you five minutes to get her under control and then I’m going to…” He stopped and broke eye contact.

Ben stared back. “Going to what?” He folded his arms. “You don’t want to hurt her as much as I do.”

Five grimaced. “I’ll do whatever it takes to save my family and the world. Besides, if you distract her for long enough, I might recover enough energy to knock her out or something.”

Ben nodded and then turned to the glowing orb that was his sister. “Vanya!” he shouted. She turned to them but this time there was no sign of recognition on her face, just a blank stare directed above their heads. She whipped her bow and like an invisible ocean wave had crashed into them, Ben and Five fell to the ground. She walked past them, slamming the door shut in the face of more operatives that tried to stream in.

“Vanya wait!” Ben shouted. “Look at what you’re doing! You’re going to end the world!”

Five groaned. “Really? You’re going to appeal to her pathos right now?” Vanya continued to play but it had stopped being any sort of song. Her music intensified, morphing into a high note he could barely hear.

All the sudden she spoke, “Ending the world...You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Her distorted words sounded like they came from far away. When she turned around and continued to speak, Ben realized it was because she wasn’t using her mouth to speak but rather manipulating other sounds. “This world is of no use to me.” He could hear the stomping of the foot soldiers outside the door, the reedy violin, and the wind gusts against the metal warehouses in her “voice”.

Dread formed in the pit of his stomach. What’d happened to Vanya? “Then what is of use to you?” he asked, hoping a logical question would bring her out of whatever trance she was in. Because she was in a trance, she had to be. Vanya would never do this if she was in her right mind. “I don’t know who you are right now Vanya,” he pressed.

She rushed toward him like a ghost, feet not touching the bodies that littered the ground. “You never knew the real me. Nobody did. Reginald made sure of that.”

Suddenly, Five spoke. “Oh, cut the crap Vanya, this isn’t the real you.” She smiled at him, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“And you know me so well, Five Hargreeves.”

Five looked nervous, but he straightened up, holding his ground. “I read your book, over and over and over again,” he said. “It was the only view into what I missed. I know how you feel, how you’ve always felt. Those pills might have stopped you from expressing it, but you’ve always been angry. And sure, be angry, but don’t do all this.” He gestured to the destruction around them. “You don’t want to kill us.”

She cocked her head slightly. “But what if I do?”

“Vanya, you can’t be serious!” Ben said. To his surprise, her face contorted in worry, like she was fighting something within herself.

“Then I guess we’re going to have to do whatever it takes to stop you.” Five wobbled over to stand in front of Ben.

“You can’t stop me Five.” She had regained her confidence.

Five smiled. “I might not be able to, but he can.” He pointed back at Ben with his thumb.

“Um, Five where are you going with this,” Ben muttered, utterly terrified of the glowing white entity that was his sister.

“Ben has his powers back, and he won’t hesitate to use them,” Five said to Vanya with a terrifying grin.

“Hey, quick question Five. Why are you lying to her?” Ben said looking down at Five.

“I’m not-“ He turned to look at Ben, his grin contorting into a scowl when he saw the petrified expression on his brother’s face. “Are you really so blind that you can’t see she WILL kill us right now if we don’t do something?”

Ben looked back at Vanya. “She’s not going to kill us,” he said simply. “If we don’t hurt her, she won’t hurt us.”

“Ben you better be going somewhere with this that won’t get us killed,” Five hissed.

Ben straightened and he spoke loud enough for Vanya to hear. “She doesn’t want to kill us, I know it.” Five looked at him incredulously and Ben whispered, “Didn’t you see her face when I questioned her earlier? She’s just scared and you’re not helping.”

Five blustered. “She’s- she’s scared? Have you SEEN her? Where have you been-” But he stopped and turned back to Vanya, silent.

Ben gulped as he looked back at Vanya, whose face was absent of the hesitation he’d seen before. “Vanya, I’ve been where you are. People wanting to kill me, to shut me down. And that’s terrifying-”

“I’m not scared,” Vanya interrupted. But the aura around her was weaker, the winds had softened. He couldn’t hear the shrill, high sound of the violin anymore. 

“I don’t blame you for wanting to kill us. I remember that feeling. When it seems like you don’t have a choice, and all you want to do is let go, and give in to your powers.” The phantom taste of blood lingered in his mouth. “Your powers aren’t like mine but-“ _Why am I going to say this, why am I going to say this_. “-you could still destroy yourself, just like I did.”

She smiled. “I can’t destroy myself. That’s one thing you can do better than me.” The tinny sound of the high note returned, and the icy glow in her eyes intensified. She turned back to Five. “So, shall we go back to where we were? You doing ‘whatever it takes’ to stop me?”

Five shrugged nonchalantly. “Actually, I think Ben is right.” Vanya raised her eyebrows at him but for the moment stayed still, waiting to hear what he had to say. Five, as usual, lavishing in his ability to hold her attention, casually bent over to grab a circular object from the holster of one of the fallen. He started tossing it in the air before speaking again.

“You know how _fucked up_ it is to spend every night dreaming of destroying the person who killed your family and ended the world, only to find out it's your own sister, who you love more than anything? You think I don’t know about anger, Vanya? I KNOW about anger. Difference is, I’m not trying to blow up the world with it.”

She was still for a moment and her face contorted as if she was trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. Ben held his breath, hoping that the real Vanya was there and she would be broken out of the trance. But then the violin became louder and Five started hovering in the air, just like earlier but this time, Ben knew he wouldn’t be let down so easily. He tensed, and grabbed hold of Five’s arm, ready to call the Horror. No way in hell he was going to let any of them get hurt though. But Five seemed surprisingly calm. It seemed like he had realized something in the last few minutes that changed him.

“Vanya, are you trying to intimidate me? I know you’re not going to hurt me,” he said. The door that Vanya had previously closed was suddenly slammed open and more soldiers came flooding in. Five’s hand gripped tighter on the circular object.

“Why do you keep saying that?” This time her normal voice was back but sounded angrier than Ben had ever heard her.

“It didn’t work out well for you the last time you hurt your siblings. I found your dead body next to his-” He jammed his finger into Ben’s cheek, “with a violin bow though your heart.”

It took a moment for Vanya to comprehend what Five had said but when she did the violin playing stopped, the winds died down, and the light emanating from Vanya disappeared. Five fell to the ground and scrambled up, standing in front of Ben. He gripped Ben’s arm as they watched Vanya, whose head bowed for a moment. Then, looking up, her eyes lost their glow, as she slowly fell back. The bow fell from her hand and clattered to the ground. The violin fell from her other hand and as Vanya fell, Five took the clip out of the circular object and threw it at the encroaching soldiers. It exploded and when the dust settled, all of them and half of the warehouse was gone and Vanya lay crumpled on top of a pile of bodies, looking every bit as lifeless as them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently i really love cliffhangers...but don't worry, there WILL be closure :)


	10. Chapter 10

Ben stared at Five, flabbergasted. “What the hell was that?”

Five grinned. “Time grenade. Always wanted to use one of those.” The damage was impressive: smoke rising up from the ground and electrical wires buzzing and sparking. “That will give us a few moments of peace from the Commission,” he said and turned to see Ben kneel down next to Vanya and put his finger against her wrist.

“She’s barely hanging in there,” Ben said, face contorted with worry..

Five grimaced, remembering the exhaustion his first night in the apocalypse. “She pushed her powers to their limit, it's not surprising,” he said and knelt down next to Vanya. Her face looked peaceful, eyes closed, and mouth set in a slight frown. It had regained its normal colouring but her clothes were still bright white, smeared with the blood of the corpses she had fallen on. This was quite different from when Five had found her in the apocalypse with a deep red circle extending outward from her chest. His breath hitched at the memory and he stood up and shook himself, brushing off his clothes of the dust that seemed to permeate the air and settle everywhere.

Ben seemed to read his mind. “You never told us about how you found our bodies.”

Five shrugged and looked away from Ben, surveying the destruction. His eyes began to water. _From the dust_ he told himself because what else could it be?

“That’d have to have been traumatic.”

He bit his tongue, hoping Ben would just _shut up_. “Trauma is not something I have time for Benjamin,” he said in a condescending tone.

Ben furrowed his brows. “Jeezus Five, we stopped the apocalypse, give yourself a break.” Five rolled his eyes but Ben kept going. “Look what happened to Vanya, she never addressed her problems and she almost blew up the world. I’d hate to see what you could do,” Ben laughed softly but his face quickly turned serious. “Just...if you ever want to, uh, talk about it...we’re here for you?”

Five tried to answer but the lump in his throat was too big. He knelt down and rested his hand over Ben and Vanya’s hand and squeezed it. Perhaps a lame thank you, but the only one he could manage right now. 

And Ben was right. They had stopped the apocalypse, at least for now. He could breathe again. He started walking back into the rubble and bodies but stopped when he saw a familiar high heel in the rubble. He went over to where it was sticking out of a pile of corpses and shoving the other bodies away, lifted the Handler’s lifeless body out of the rubble. He frowned as he noticed the sadness tugging at his heart.

“Huh…I never thought she could die,” he said softly, turning her around to “I guess she just got too ambitious,” he laughed softly and then frowned again.

“Who is it?” Ben asked, staying next to Vanya.

Five let her fall back against the other bodies, trying to relish the insignificance of her existence now that she was dead. “The Handler. My former boss who found me in the apocalypse and recruited me for the Commission. Aaand the one who kidnapped our siblings.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Our siblings… Ben…”

Ben’s eyes widened in horror and he started shouting, “Diego? Klaus?”

“Luther! Allison!” Five’s voice cracked _. Of course, something else had to go wrong, why didn’t you think of that?_ He was somewhat surprised to hear his own voice in his head and not Dolores’.

“We’re under here!” Luther’s voice was so quiet, Five almost didn’t hear it. It was coming from where the roof had fallen in.

“Vanya said she would untie us and then she almost killed us,” Diego said. “Can you guys please untie us now?”

Five and Ben looked at each other with a smile. “We’ll be right there!” Ben yelled.

* * *

The rest of the day went well...too well in Five’s opinion. They found the rest of the siblings unharmed under the fallen roof and all somehow escaped the warehouse without being noticed by the media or the police. It was midnight on April 2nd and they were now back at the Academy like nothing had happened. Everything was well and Five had never felt more miserable.

“Will you lighten up? Everything’s fine!” Ben said to him for the 10th time that evening. They were sitting on opposite ends of the couch in the living room across from where Vanya was lying. She had been placed there earlier that day by Mom, who confirmed she was in a deep sleep, not a coma, and could awaken at any time. Although, she would be quite confused and perhaps not herself when she woke. The rest of that day, every sibling took turns being with her. At first Five couldn’t bring himself to be with her. Any time he stared at her too long the red splotch would form on her chest until it took up his entire vision and he could do nothing but blink away. It must be a sign he thought to himself. _The apocalypse isn’t over yet_. But every equation he looked at led to nothing. Vanya had to be the cause and the only cause and unless someone lit her fuse again, she wouldn’t blow up the world. Well then, Five would have to remain next to her just in case she woke up and decided to blow up the world again. And so he did.

“Ben, what if she wakes up and still wants to kill us? What do we do then?” he asked, keeping his eyes trained on his sister, who looked even smaller than normal in the big blanket Klaus and Allison had wrapped her up in.

Ben shook his head vehemently. “That wasn’t her, that was some other side of her. She doesn’t want to kill us, Five, _you_ know that better than I do.”

Five stared at Vanya as the red spot started to seep into the blanket. “Can you stop mentioning that? It’s not exactly a memory I like to relive.”

Ben was quiet for a moment. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Ben sighed. “I thought it might comfort you logically, since, you know, you’re talking about being scared about her trying to kill us again?”

Five blinked his eyes and the blanket turned back to normal. He hadn’t realized he was breathing fast, so he forced himself to take a big breath and settled back into the couch cushions.

Ben yawned and stood up. “I’m exhausted, I think I’m going to go to bed.”

Five gulped, feeling his heart start to beat in his chest. “You really want to sleep in your old room?” he scoffed.

Ben stopped and looked at Vanya, pursing his lips. “You’re right. I’ll just sleep here and you wake me up if Vanya moves.”

Five nodded, feeling a huge sense of relief, followed by disgust _. I’m not a child, why do I need Ben to be here?_ He considered telling Ben to go up to his room after all, but Ben had already dozed off on the couch.

And the house fell silent. Well, as silent as the old house could get with the groans of the pipes and the creaking wood floors upstairs from Klaus pacing in his room or the ghosts that haunted this place. Five assumed there would be many. But nothing could compare to the silence of a world destroyed. Ever since Five had come back to the land of the living, he was convinced life itself made a tiny noise. Nothing was ever truly as quiet as the apocalypse, not even during his first assignment in the middle of nowhere Yukon, Canada when he was tasked to kill the fur trapper. He didn’t need any sort of tracking device the Commission supplied him. He could hear the blood rushing in the man’s veins and the electricity of his synapses in his brain firing. Not that he could necessarily parse these noises out when they were all overlapping but he knew they were there as opposed to in the apocalypse, where life had ceased to exist and the silence itself seemed to want to keep it that way.

It was the hum of life that brought him comfort, he concluded. And the specific hum of life that came from his siblings along with the knowledge that he was no longer alone. He thought about Dolores sitting up in his room and briefly considered getting her but thought the better of it. He couldn’t leave Ben and Vanya alone. No, that wasn’t it. He didn’t _want_ to leave them.

Suddenly, it was several hours later when Five opened his eyes. He scrambled up from his hunched over position and looked at Vanya, whose face was twitching. His eyes widened and he began to poke Ben in the side, keeping his eyes on his sister

“Jeezus Five, do you always forget about the Horror!” Ben said, letting the tentacle that had almost swiped Five retreat back into his stomach. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Vanya, she’s–“ Five said, pointing to their sister. Ben quickly turned to look at her. Her face had stopped moving, but her breathing was changed. Five could see the rise and fall of her chest and hear every inhale and exhale. Then her hand started moving, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders. Her eyes opened and she looked aimlessly before settling on her two brothers’ anxiously watching her. Five’s heart hammered in his chest. His hands clenched, ready to spring into action just in case...just in case...

It seemed like an eternity before she spoke. “Where am I? What happened?” she groaned, trying to sit up. Five breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed. Ben went and knelt by her side, turning on a lamp on one of the end tables.

“You’re at the Academy. You’re safe,” he said, grabbing her hand. “How much do you remember?”

She winced at the light and her brow furrowed as she tried to remember. “We were at the warehouse. I found our siblings, and then those weird soldiers started to attack and…” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head. “I really don’t remember anything after that. Just music.”

Five walked over to her. “You certainly gave quite the performance.”

She smiled unconvincingly and then frowned, rubbing her eyes. “What did I do?” Before they could answer, she continued. “Wait, what happened to you guys? You disappeared!”

“We were fine-“ Ben started and Five interrupted.

“Yeah, Ben saved us. It was incredible.”

Vanya turned to Ben with a smile. “With your powers?”

Ben nodded. “What you told me helped. Five also helped.” He shot Five an appreciative smile.

She shook her head. “You guys complimenting each other? Did you hit your heads?”

“Five did get sedated,” Ben said seriously. Vanya’s eyes widened as he continued. “Yeah, that’s what forced me to use my powers. He was too weak to move! So, you know, I did what any big brother would do and-”

“Finally used your powers and were useful for once?” Five interjected, smiling sweetly.

Ben smiled back, equally as sarcastically. “I did what any big brother would do and gave their little brother a piggyback ride.”

Vanya looked at Five and snorted. “I wish I was there.”

Five glared at Ben. “What part of ‘tell this to no one’ did you not understand?” he grumbled but the sheer look of joy on Vanya’s face made it worth it.

Vanya laughed weakly and then put her hand to her forehead. “God, I feel awful.”

Five sat down next to her on the couch and felt her head. “You went overboard with your powers, it's not surprising.”

Her smile broke. “Did I hurt anyone?”

Five shook his head. “Only an army of Commission drones...and the leader of the Commission.” Her eyes widened with shock, and Five sighed. “Would have been nice if you left her for me to kill but oh well.”

“I’m sorry…I think?” She looked at him with a slight amused smile. “Was I in a trance or something? Why don't I remember it?”

Five shrugged and she was still for a moment, gears turning in her head. Then her eyes snapped open and she stared at Five. “I’m probably the one that caused the apocalypse originally, aren’t I.” He looked at Ben and then nodded tersely.

“How do I stop doing this? I can’t keep losing control like this! I can’t keep almost destroying the world.” Her voice wobbled.

“I mean you could, it’d certainly keep everyone on their toes,” Five said and Vanya glared at him.

Ben squeezed her hand. “You’ll get control over it, I promise. It just takes time. And we’ll be always here for you, just like we were this time.”

She smiled and squeezed his hand in return, some tension leaving her body. “So how did you snap me out of it?” Five looked away from her, eyes on the floor. The image returned strong in his mind. Their lifeless eyes and blood-soaked clothes. The smell, the awful rotting smell of the apocalypse. His eyes began to water again and this time he couldn’t blame the dust.

“We just convinced you that you’d regret it,” Ben said carefully and grabbed Five’s hand. Five looked up to see Ben shake his head at Vanya and her look of concern directed at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Five snapped at them. Vanya raised her eyebrows at him, looking like she wanted to ask more questions but then seemed to let it go, leaning back into the side of the couch. She sat still for a moment, appearing at peace and then her eyes widened with horror.

“My concert!! It’s at 7pm on April 2nd. Did I miss it?” She made a move to get up, only to fall back into the couch cushions in exhaustion.

“You have about 15 hours before it starts,” Five said, pointing at the clock on the mantelpiece.

She sighed in relief. “Thank god.” She paused and then picked at the blanket. “Do you guys... um want to come?”

“Sorry Vanya, I have an appointment then,” Ben said. She looked up at him sadly and noticed he was grinning.

“Shut UP Ben!” she said, weakly whacking him with her pillow. “Five?”

He shrugged. “I have to be there so you don’t blow up the orchestra.” She looked like she wanted to glare at him, but she could only smile. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around both of them. Five’s head was buried into her arm.

“What’s this?” he said, moving his chin to be rested on her shoulder.

“It’s called a hug, Five, and you need it.” He stayed stiff for a bit and then wrapped his arms around them, burning his face into the crook of her shoulder. He smiled, the first genuine one in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't just NOT give Five a hug, right?
> 
> Well it's all done!! My messy imperfect baby of a fic with all my 567 love in it. Thanks to everyone who left comments/kudos <3 I'm [chekovv](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/chekovv) if you want to chat!


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